The purpose of this blog is to provide timely updates about this portion of Dot's (Mom's) life journey for her many friends around the country and world and for her beloved son, grandchildren and great grandchildren.
The out-pouring of comments, calls, email, and cards has been so overwhelming, that I (Terry) can't possibly respond to each of you, so my hope is that this blog will allow you to be more closely connected to Mom's last days. My intention is to leave no one out, so if you know someone who wants to know how Mom is, please forward this blog to him/her.
As a brief overview and to bring everyone up to date on Mom's current status...She had 1 or 2 strokes on December 17. She was transported 70 miles away to a hospital in Denver where she stayed for a week. On Christmas Day she was transported back to Colorado Springs and is in a nursing facility with her care being overseen by hospice. I'm not disclosing the location out of respect for her and to preserve her dignity. She would want you to remember her as you've known her - witty, vibrant, tenacious, and committed.
It's been 3 weeks since her stroke(s), and Mom is not able to communicate very easily. She often lives in the past, thinking of a variety of life situations that I've long forgotten. One thing that seems to still be with her is her love of barbershop music. She told me just a few days ago that I was a conceited lead! Has she been holding back that thought for all these years? Oh my!
We let her listen to YouTube recordings of Sweet Adeline choruses, and she becomes very intent. At times she'll attempt to sing with them. I've tried to bring her into the present a few times, asking her to counsel me on members for my new quartet. Of course, she has reserved the tenor spot for herself and told me so very directly. I'll be bringing a CD player and CDs to her room today so she can listen to good BBS as she desires. I'll let you know in a follow-up post how this goes over.
Please feel free to comment here. If you have any stories about your lifetime adventures with Mom, please share them. I might even talk to her about some of them.
Bless each of you. You have all touched me deeply with your prayers and concerns for Mom. Long time friendships are being renewed for me too, and I appreciate your concern and love for me.
My Velvet Hills experience with Dot has been quite an adventure. The most memorable ones are: working with her at bingo - she would always complain about things in her liife and I would say "just stop it, I don't to hear anymore complaints". We would then chat and she would say "you sound just like my minister". And I would reply "then I must be saying someting right!". After chattnig for a little while, I told her "I am trying to be your friend, but I can only be if you let me be". I thought she would be mad at me for talking to her like that, but the following Monday at rehearsal she came to me and said "where is my hug, you missed me tonight". It was then that I realized how much she appreciated me for being a friend. After that, we hugged every Monday night!!
ReplyDeleteWhen it was time for the Christmas show, she was having a hard time learning the music. I agreed to help her with the songs, but only if she was willing to stop being negative and accept my help. I said "I know I am not the greatest bass but I do know the music!. She agreed to come to my house for assistance.
I even invited her to a show at the Pikes Peak Center (the Nutcracker) as a guest o mine! We all went to dinner and the show. What a wonderful eveing we spent together. I could go on and on but I don't want to take up all of the space or your time.
Dot and the rest of the family is constantly in my thoughts and prayers.
With Love and Prayers
Norma Butler
My Velvet Hills experience with Dot began in January of 2002 when I sang with Velvet Hills for only 3 months before my husband got a job back east. But those two months garnered us our first blue medal in a long time, and Dot was part of that. I had a lot of music to learn in a very short time, and I attended every Harmony Unit that I could. Dot was at the first one out at Kathy and Ruth's house -- and I'll never forget her coming up to me and telling me that she wanted to get back to singing in a quartet and she wanted me to sing Bass so she could sing Tenor!! She just made me feel so very welcome.
ReplyDeleteBut, as we all know, Dot could be difficult on the risers -- and getting her to smile was not easy when she had it in her mind that she wasn't going to do it (of course, she always did it when it counted - on stage!!). I often stood next to Dot, encouraging her to "let go"! Sometimes she would hit me on the arm and tell me that I almost hit her with a certain move, and things like that -- but she was always good natured about it. I grew to love her -- and didn't mind at all when new riser placements came out and once again I was next to Dot!!
I loved the post from your friend in VA reminding you that Dot will live on in the songs that you and your entire family sing! And, we all know that she is looking forward to the day when she can sing Tenor to her heart's content! May she stay comfortable and may you gather all the memories from her that you can! You are in my heart and prayers! I'll look forward to singing with Dot in the big BBS chorus where we never miss a note or a move -- and the chords lock and ring eternally!
Fondly, Anna Strong
I was working in the judging pit at a region 12 contest with somewhat of a heavy heart. I knew that this was my last region 12 contest because I would be moving to Colorado Springs a few months later. During a break, Barbara Anderson, a member of Bay Area Showcase Chorus and former member of Velvet Hills, called me over to meet someone who was visiting from Colorado. That person was Dot. She assured me that I would be transferring to a wonderful chorus in Velvet Hills and that she looked forward to greeting me when I arrived in Colorado Springs. She kept her promise and we've had many wonderful conversations since about our time in region 12, where, I think, her barbershop heart always remained.
ReplyDeleteIt was my great pleasure to be her connection to region 12 when we celebrated her 60th anniversary in Sweet Adelines. I was astounded as the cards and letters began filling my mailbox, and it was then that I fully realized what she had meant to region 12. What an outpouring of love! My greatest thrill though, was watching Dot watch the DVD that her friends had made, reminiscing about special memories they all held of her. I'm sure it was the only time I ever saw Dot cry.
I think of you every day, Dot. I miss your sharp wit, your insight and your beautiful red hair. That big chorus is the sky is getting one heck of a tenor, and one handful of a lady.
Lori Meyers
I've known Dot since I came into Region 12 as a young girl in 1957 when my mother was in the SF Chorus. My mother and I joined Dot's beloved Mission Valley Chorus in 1982 and I had the piviledge of singing in a quartet with her, Sound Exchange, in 1989. What a wonderful, talented, loving woman she is. I feel so blessed to have known her through two generations.
ReplyDeleteWith love to her and her family,
Laura Conners
It is really neat to read about your experiences with my grandmother. You describe her just like she is.....stubborn, humorous, caring, & her heart always belonged to music.
ReplyDeleteI love you Grandma!
Thank you to all that have and will post their comments about Mom!
ReplyDeleteI didn't spend much time with her after she moved to Colorado Springs.
So, it is great to hear about her Sweet Adelines adventures and accomplishments from her Colorado
friends.
Please take a moment to put Terry, Ken, and Tiffany in your thoughts and prayers, as they have always been by her side through Thick and thin!
My journey with Dot began over 25 years ago - I was singing in Rare Expression with Terry, and Dot would come to Colorado Springs to visit and coach us - several times over the life of that quartet. She had a wonderful and kind spirit, great knowledge and a love of sharing her craft of barbershop!
ReplyDeleteAfter she moved to Colorado Springs and joined Velvet Hills, she continued to share and coach, even became director of Southern Star Chorus in Pueblo for a while and worked with choruses around Region 8.
I think she was happiest when she was working with brand new singers, whether in Velvet Hills or around Region 8.
In recent years it was a challenge to get Dot to smile, but smile she did when goaded/teased/loved into it!:-) And Dot, I know that you loved singing tenor, but I gotta tell you that you had a mighty fine bass voice!!!! We all hated seeing you have such a struggle in recent times, but know that you will be welcomed with open arms and singing tenor in the finest choir there is - God Bless you, My Friend!
Love,
Suzi
High Society had been invited to perform in Northern California on a Chapter Show. The following day, Dot and her husband took us on a glorious sail around San Francisco Bay. It was just beautiful, and we had a wonderful day.
ReplyDeleteDot was a delightful friend, and we'll miss her dearly.
Love,
Sandy Shelver